A Shoulder to Cry On
by Baranwyn
Summary: After the events of 'The Girl in the Fireplace', Rose offers the doctor a shoulder to cry on. A bit fluffy, a bit smutty, mostly angsty


_My dear doctor_

_The path has never seemed so long and yet I fear I am nearing the end. Reason tells me that you and I are unlikely to meet again, but I shall not listen to reason. I have seen the world inside your head and know that all things are possible. Hurry though, my love. My days grow shorter now and I am so very weak. God speed my lonely angel._

_Reinette_

The doctor had no idea how long he spent standing at the console after Rose and Mickey left, just staring into space, mourning for a woman he had never really known, mourning the loss of the chance to get to know her, surrounded by silence and darkness and memories. All acquaintances were brief to him, but this one was briefer than most and he wished, oh how he wished, as he always did, that he'd had just a little longer, just one more day, one more hour, one more minute, one more second in her company, but as always it was not to be.

'Doctor?' Rose's tentative voice awoke him from his musings; she walked over to him from the door. 'Hey' she said quietly

'Hi Rose, where's Mickey?' he attempted a smile but didn't quite manage his usual 1000 watt grin

'He's gone to bed, it's late. Doctor, are you really alright?' he gave the smile another attempt

'Yeah, you know me, I'm. . .'

'I know, you're always alright' she reached up and wiped the tears off his cheek, he hadn't even realised he'd been crying 'come on, let's go and have a cup of tea' she took his hand and led him through to the kitchen.

The kettle was already boiling; she must have been coming to ask if he wanted a cup. He lounged against the sideboard and watched in silence as she put the tea bags in two mugs and poured hot water over them. She swirled the bag round his mug for just a minute, creating the weak brew he liked, before squeezing it against the side of his mug with the spoon and scooping it out, plopping it into her own steadily darkening cup for the super strength infusion she preferred. When she'd decided it was black enough, she chucked both tea bags in the sink, a disgusting habit he had yet to break her of, before adding the milk and sugar. No sugar for him, he liked his new skinny body and he wanted to keep it like that, and two for her, with half a spoon extra for luck. She passed his mug to him before taking a sip of hers

'Mm, lovely' she sighed 'nothing like a nice cup of tea after a long day being threatened by clockwork robots' he smiled at her before taking a sip himself 'what?'

'I like watching people make tea, it's as unique as your DNA, no two people make it the same way, everyone's got their own little foibles, their own habits they've picked up from one place or another'

'It's just tea'

'But that's what makes it great, there's something comforting about it, it's so normal, so everyday, so. . .'

'Domestic?' her lip twitched into a smile

'Yeah, domestic'

'I thought you didn't do domestic'

'That was the old me, the new me, I don't know, I haven't decided yet, I had Christmas dinner didn't I, even wore a paper hat, that's pretty domestic, don't you think?'

'Yeah, I do'

'Just don't think you can domesticate me'

'Oh, I don't, I don't think there's any danger of that happening'

'You'd be surprised' he said quietly, taking another swig of his tea to avoid looking in her eyes

'I don't think I would. Don't think I don't get you, doctor, because I do, at least a little bit. Reinette said something to me when I went to see her, something that rang very true. She said that you and the monsters are inseparable, you can't have one without the other, and that's right. This is your life, running backwards and forwards through time and space, fighting for your life, for the safety of the human race or just for fun, and maybe you think you'd like to settle down, become domesticated, but you know you never could, it's just not who you are.' He hadn't looked up and he didn't now, preferring to stare at the mug in his hands

'I see you've got me pegged. You're a smart girl Rose, I've always said so' she shrugged

'Me? Nah, I didn't even do my A levels. That Madam De Pompadour though, she sounded like she was quite something'

'She was' he still hadn't looked up and he definitely wasn't going to now. He put his mug down on the side and shoved his hands into his pockets

'You were going to bring her with us?' he nodded, not trusting his voice 'what happened?'

'She uh' he cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes, trying to pull himself together, it had been years since he'd lost it like this in front of someone else. His face was burning and he had the horrible impression that he was blushing, that was something about this new body he hadn't noticed before 'she died. The short time I was gone was years for her, by the time I'd got back she'd passed on' he felt a hand on his arm and, before he could stop himself, he was wrapped around rose, crying into her shoulder.

Part of him felt like an idiot but he just couldn't help himself. If she'd left him alone for a few hours longer he could have bottled it all up and moved on, like he always did, but she hadn't and now here she was, all soft and warm, with her arms wrapped around him and it felt like such a relief. Even when he'd cried himself out they still stood there in the kitchen, tea long cold, arms around each other, and he took solace in her. Eventually, when he could feel a crick developing in his neck, he moved away a little, raising his head

'I'm sorry about this'

'Hey, it's okay, we all need to get it out of our systems every now and then'

'I know, but it's stupid really, I only knew her for a few hours'

'But this wasn't really about Reinette was it? She was just the last thing, all this has been building for a long time, I've seen it coming for as long as I've known you'

'You have?'

'Yep, it was more obvious in the old you but all your bouncing around and gabbling still doesn't quite cover it, not always'

'Cover what?' she removed an arm from where they were resting around his waist and reached up to caress his cheek

'You're so sad, Doctor, you try to hide it but it's always there at the back of your eyes'

'Not always' he said 'it's better, I'm happier when I'm with you' her hand dropped from his cheek but it didn't go far, she moved it to rest on the back of his neck

'Should you be saying things like that, doctor?' should he? He didn't know, his emotions were all over the shop; usually this would be the time to leave so he could pull himself together, but he didn't want to move away from her. Their embrace, which a moment before seemed only comforting, now seemed very intimate, pressed loosely against each other as they were, knees to shoulders. Was that really the direction he wanted this to go in?

'Only if they're true, and it is true Rose, you've no idea how much it means to me to have you here' without either of them seeming to have moved, they suddenly found that their foreheads were resting against each other. There was no denying what was going to happen next, now they were just putting off the inevitable. Eventually it was Rose that tipped the balance; the tiniest pressure from her hand on the back of his neck brought the doctor's lips to hers.

At first, the kiss was tentative, as if both feared that any sudden moves would scare off the other, but slowly each grew in confidence. Rose's lips were soft and warm and her hand blazed a trail of sensation down his chest as it moved from the back of his neck to its previous position around his waist. She squeezed him to her, as if to pull him closer, but they were already as close as they could be. He didn't know how long they stood there, lost in their embrace, before he came to his senses, but when he did, he found that he had her backed up against the fridge. With heart wrenching effort, he broke away from her and put some space between their bodies.

'I'm sorry' he didn't dare look her in the eyes, scared of what she might see in his own 'I shouldn't have let that happen'

'I wanted it to happen' her hand bridged the gap he had created 'and so did you' she caressed his cheek and drew his gaze to meet hers; it was full of passion, a look he knew his eyes reflected. For a moment he was nearly sucked back in, how he longed to hold her again, but then he pulled away once more, taking another step back and turning his face away from her touch and her gaze. He shoved his hands into his pockets to stop them from reaching for her

'I'm too old for you Rose'

'I haven't got a problem with that'

'Well I have, it wouldn't be right'

'Says who? Doctor, you're too old for everybody, does that mean you're going to spend the rest of your life on your own?' he stared at his shoes

'I'm fine on my own'

'But you're not though. You spend all your time trying to look after everyone, the whole human race, billions and billions of lives, and you take it all on your shoulders, like it's your responsibility, but who's there to look after you, you need someone to take care of you'

'And that's you, is it?' his voice was slightly mocking but he didn't really mean it

'If you'll let me. I may not be as accomplished as Reinette, but I'll always be there for you and I make a mean cup of tea' he looked up at her for the first time since he'd pulled away, a slightly sheepish smile on his face

'You do, and you are always there for me'

'So what's the problem?'

'I don't know, I just. . .'

'Don't want to get your heart broken' her lip twitched 'or hearts'

'I suppose'

'But what's the alternative, you spend the next few centuries alone, doctor, some things are worth having your heart broken for' he nodded, he was staring at his trainers again, his hands firmly in his pockets. She took a step towards him and this time he didn't move back. She ran her fingers down his arms, coaxing his hands out of their hiding places and clasping them in hers. Only their hands were touching but she was so close, barely two inches away, he could feel the heat radiating from her skin, hear her breathing in quiet little gasps, see the flush in her cheeks. He knew she was waiting for him to make the next move, waiting for him to make a decision. He tried to think but her proximity was affecting his reasoning, why was it he wasn't allowed to hold her, he couldn't quite remember.

He gently removed his hands from hers and ghosted his fingertips up and down her bare arms, mimicking her movements from a moment earlier. She rewarded him with a gasp, her mouth opening slightly and her eyes closing. She looked so delectable in that second he just couldn't resist her anymore; he leaned in, closing the gap between their two bodies and she melted into him, her arms flowing around his waist

'Oh Rose' he whispered, trying to put everything he felt into those two words, and then he kissed her, deeply and intensely, this time there would be no running away.

The End


End file.
